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The Student News Site of California State University, Stanislaus

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The Student News Site of California State University, Stanislaus

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The bewhiskered brethren in sports

In today’s sporting world, there is a beautiful bounty of bushy beardsmen whose bewhiskered faces are broadcasted across the nation. These are our top 5 beards:
5. Basketball: James Harden.  The Houston Rockets shooting guard boasts one the most entertaining beards in sports. As his career has grown and becomes more prevalent so has his beard.  The beard has become so popular it can now be followed on Twitter (@HardenBeard).  Honorable mention: LeBron James because all of the hair that used to reside on his forehead is now on his chin.
4. Professional Wrestling: Daniel Bryan. The only man in professional wrestling to be undefeated in a Beard-off (defeating Oakland A’s outfielder and fellow beardsman Josh Reddick).  The beard is the only beard on this list that is “eco-friendly” because Bryan, a known vegan and environmentalist, only washes it with handmade, organic soap. Honorable mention: Hulk Hogan. Hogan’s beard is a close second because it was used as a weapon, Hogan has often told the story of drinking raw eggs and leaving some in his beard in order to psyche out opponents.
3. Hockey: Brent Burns.  San Jose Sharks forward Brent Burns has the beard that haunts the dreams of small children and beardless-men alike.  Unlike the other members on this list, Burns has accessorized his beard with a messy long crop of helmet hair and is missing his two front teeth to complete his grizzly look.  Honorable Mention: Jaromir Jagr because sometimes craftsman shift is underappreciated.
2. Football:  Brett Keisel.  Keisel’s beard isn’t the longest thickest beard on the block but something has to be said for style.  This beard is just simply beautiful.  The well brushed mustache that sits perfectly atop the upper lip with the luscious curly beard flowing gracefully out of the bottom of a football helmet is enough to earn Keisel a silver medal on this list.
1. Baseball: Brian Wilson. Is there any other beard that could beat Wilson’s? The stars of “Duck Dynasty” want their beards to be like Wilson’s when they grow up. Not only does Wilson have the best beard in sports, his beard has a beard. When the righthander made his debut with the Los Angeles Dodgers his famous beard was sporting a tied of section of hair for itself! Unfortunately for all of the other contestants two beards will always beat one.

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The bewhiskered brethren in sports