Toxic relationships tend to take a hold of people’s lives. When all is said and done, no relationship humans make, is ever the same. There is no guide book telling people who to look out for or who to not trust, but once a person knows a relationship has turned toxic, the ties to that relationship make it complicated to abruptly end it.
Avery Urban (graduate, Psychology) had an experience with a toxic relationship when she was in high school. 
“I started dating this person and at the time everything was fine, it just seemed like a typical relationship, we were best friends for two years. Stuff started to go downhill when their mom committed suicide… That was a pretty traumatic experience for them. Then my mom took legal guardianship of them because they were in an abusive household, so they came to live with us while I was dating them. Soon after their stepdad died from a brain aneurysm… a lot of death was happening and I took this stance of just trying to help them out as best as I could which is why I asked my mom to take her in and why I was with her for such a long time,” Urban said.
Urban then saw the negative effects that the relationship was having in her life.
“At the time there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Over time it just kept getting worse and worse. I kept giving more and more of myself and she kept taking it and blaming me for things that just didn’t go her way. She started stealing, and subjecting my family to it. I don’t know why I stayed but I got tired of subjecting my family to it all,” Urban said.
When the relationship is not healthy, the people in the relationship start to make excuses because the emotional ties in the relationship can crowd the mind of reason. Sometimes the person stays longer in the relationship than they know they should, and they start to see changes within their life they don’t normally see.
Taylor Manzanedo (junior, Communication Studies) had these types of relationships affect the way she saw herself.
“[Toxic relationships] have made me really self-conscious, you kind of look back on yourself and sometimes you start to believe the bad things they’re saying. That was really hard for me, especially in high school. I tried to put up this front that it didn’t bother me but deep down inside it really did. I started to believe a lot of the things they said,” Manzanedo said.
Essma Nasher (senior, Sociology) shared the similar emotions that Manzanedo had.
“I felt betrayed [in the toxic relationship], depressed, out of tune with my own self, and I didn’t know what to believe about myself. I questioned every decision I made,” Nasher said.
As complex as relationships are, as soon as people realize they are not beneficial to their happiness they all can make the decision whether or not to keep living with the same burden that these toxic relationships impose on them or leave and find their new way.
“Simply” put by the Huffington Post’s article Ending Toxic Relationships, “… If a relationship (whether it be a friend, a family member or a significant other) makes you feel bad, you shouldn’t be in it… Too often we feel like it’s our price of admission, that in order to get the few moments of good, we have to put up with the long hours of bad. But I’ve come to realize that this way of thinking ultimately is a disservice to both sides.”

Urban felt “liberated” after she did not have that toxic relationship anymore.

“I was also upset I had hurt her. It took a long time after the break up to put myself first, but I didn’t like see the damage she was causing to everyone around her. Without my support system, I wouldn’t have gotten through it,” Urban said.
After tossing the heaviest thing weighing them down, in almost every situation there is a sigh of relief. In this case, after finally making the decision to leave such a relationship that is weighing the person down, there is always the fear of what next.
The decision to move forward and choose themselves is ultimately the first step in the right direction for the benefit of their own happiness. As back and forth you might have to think for a while, and weighing the options of what is right from what is easy, ultimately it will have to come down to what they benefit from this relationship and if they are willing to sacrifice their own happiness for the benefit of someone else’s agenda.
If an individual is feeling stuck in a toxic relationship, they should “Cut it off. Even if you are second guessing it cut it off. I wish I would have done it in the past, I think I would have avoided so much, so much issues and problems but I kept giving the benefit of the doubt. I think giving the benefit of the doubt it good but at a certain point you need to realize that you need to worry about yourself,” Manzanedo said.
Nasher and Urban also have advice for students currently in a toxic relationship.
“They are not the hero, get out and take better care of yourself because in toxic relationships it does not get better. Look for red flags,” Nasher said.
“Find the five people that you surround yourself with, it’s good to have a support system you can lean on and trust,” Urban said.
These students might not have had similar situations, but they have all benefited from spring cleaning the toxic relationships out of their lives.