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The Student News Site of California State University, Stanislaus

Signal

The Student News Site of California State University, Stanislaus

Signal

The Student News Site of California State University, Stanislaus

Signal

Conversation starters

By Melisa Koessel March 31, 2014

Dear Distress Signal, There’s a girl on campus that I really want to talk to, but she’s always staring at her phone. How can I start a conversation if I can’t make eye contact?!? -Invisible Dear...

How to sweeten your spunk

By Melisa Koessel March 28, 2014

Dear Distress Signal, My girlfriend says that I “taste bad” when she gives me blowjobs. She told me that I need to eat more fruits and vegetables because it’ll make my sperm taste better....

Keep your hands to yourself

By Melisa Koessel March 19, 2014

Dear Distress Signal, Lately, my boyfriend’s anger problems have been getting worse. We’ve been together for six months, and when he used to get upset, he would talk it out with me or go for...

The assertive “NO”

By Melisa Koessel March 14, 2014

Dear Distress Signal, I get hit on by guys who I’m not interested in for whatever reason. I try to politely say “no,” but they keep pressing the issue. What can I do without being rude? -Nice...

American youth equals boring generation

By Shawn Harkins February 28, 2014

The youth have become an army of senior-citizens-in-training, all lying in wait for their AARP cards and social security stipends. The whole scene reeks of a nightmare combination of stale piss and Aqua...

Olympics: Shows or sports?

By Melissa De Leon February 20, 2014

It seems obvious in sports: a fall means failure, a program without error means a win. But the resulting scores in the Olympic Games have been a different outcome, begging the question: Are these all sports? A...

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