I Do
Life happens. It is hectic and full of different chapters. The idea of living a married life while being a full-time student should not be seen as a negative.
Life will always have twists and turns, whether it is working over 40 hours weekly in the workforce or being a full-time student. The plain fact is that there will never be a time where a person will suddenly have a complete lack of responsibilities and the freedom to devote herself or himself to wedding planning and becoming a married person.
College teaches students to manage stress while balancing multiple papers, tests and assignments. I am not saying marriage will be easy. However, we are used to a hectic lifestyle and can handle more than we are given credit for.
Some believe that different rules apply for lower-division students opposed to upper-division in college. Cases can be made for both positions, yet they are still legal adults entitled to making their own decisions. Lower-division students may be viewed as young in our society, however they are old enough to vote politicians into office, die for our country and walk down the aisle. Maturity level may be determined on a case-by-case basis, however, the argument of age is not a solid reason to oppose marrying in college.
Certain factors may influence individuals to marry sooner than planned. For couples who choose to abstain until marriage due to biblical or religious beliefs, waiting to reach that intimate level of a relationship can be strenuous and impractical.
Being a married student can bring the benefits of a healthy support system. After a rough day at school, knowing that your spouse is there for encouragement brings stability that many desire.
Some believe that marriage can take away from the traditional college experience, which is supposed to be a time of growth. Marriage does not eliminate the opportunity for a student to enjoy their college experience, or stunt their growth. Single or wed, students can choose to be part of campus life, and growth can be made not only from the college life, but also within their marriage.
Am I saying that getting engaged, planning a wedding and continuing a college education while married is a walk in the park? Absolutely not, however if a couple feels their relationship is strong enough to proceed into a lifelong unity, college should not be the deterring factor.
I Don’t
Marriage is more than just the wedding itself, it is a commitment that a person makes for a lifetime and is unwise to be the focus of a full-time student.
In college we have to deal with deadlines, midterms, internships, involvement with organizations and stresses of what to do after college.
Adding the burden of planning a wedding and making a marriage work may hinder the road to success.
The college experience is more than Greek life, partying or expanding your education level; college is an opportunity to learn who you are as individual. College provides more than a college degree; it helps to prepare for life and all of its challenges. Being able to understand, grow and accept who you are is crucial for the maturity of a relationship.
Some may make that argument there may be a difference in maturity level with lower-division and upper-division students. This may be true, but what all students have in common is that we are all still in school, and as college students we have yet to explore the college experience to the fullest.
“I think that there are students who are mature enough to get married while in college, but I definitely think they should wait until after accomplishing their career goals,” Brenda Treyes (senior, Liberal Studies) said.
“The reason being is that a marriage takes a lot of time and work. If one of the partners in the marriage lacks that time, their marriage will be the one to suffer the consequences.”
Treyes, a current student at California State University, Stanislaus, married at the young age of 19 years and divorced by the time she turned 21.
“I think that getting married or planning a wedding in college is too much stress,” Treyes said. “School is stressful already, planning a wedding or being married is too much, let alone to add to a busy student’s life.”
There is a Bible verse that states: “Love is patient, love is kind […] love always perseveres,” (Corinthians 13:4–8). If love is patient and always perseveres, then why not wait until after you are done with college and you truly have grown as an individual.
Planning a wedding and living the married life while in college is unnecessary stress that students can easily avoid by waiting after graduation. I agree that love conquers all, but I also agree that there is a time and place for everything.