With Valentine’s Day a week away, I’ve been recollecting on the different types of people I always see come out on this glorious cupified day we set aside for love. Maybe I shouldn’t call them, “people” as I’m going to venture on some exaggerated stereotypes that can better be described as archetypes. Formalities set aside let’s dig into the good stuff.
First of all, let’s jump to the obvious. The lovestruck girlfriend. While there are different varieties of this doting romantic, and boyfriends are guilty too, I always see that one girl who becomes a little obsessed with creating the “perfect” Valentine’s Day for herself and her mate.
She lives for the over-sized teddy bears, heart-shaped chocolates and red tissue paper that will, most surely, wrap her perfect present (and it WILL be perfect because she has been hinting at it since Feb. 15 of last year).
The lovestruck girlfriend expects perfection and will post and tweet all day long come v-day with pictures of oversized bouquets and captions like, “#lovemyboo #hesthebest #gotmeflowers #spoiled.”
The lovestruck girlfriend is crafty and dangerous. She will get what she wants, so watch out.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the cupid killer. The cupid killer is, in effect, a buzz kill on the holiday for everyone. The cupid killer is probably hosting some type of valentine burning bonfire on the big day, which he or she chooses to call, “National Single Awareness Day.” Don’t get me wrong, these people can actually be pretty funny.
The clever lengths they take to insult Valentine’s Day reaches new levels every year. Still, they are going to be glad when Feb. 14 has come and gone, and they can go back to The cupid killer is not to be confused with our next Valentine’s Day hater the cynic. The cynic believes that Valentine’s Day is a holiday created by Hallmark, Hershey, florists and other benefactors who make big bucks every year on cupid day.
The cynic comes in a variety of forms, including the broke boyfriend, the cheap husband, the strictly business girlfriend (who hates the mushy crap) and last but not least, the intellectual (of either gender) who finds it below her/himself to wait in line at CVS for a pink, singing stuffed monkey.
Finally, I will disclose the truly most romantic person we see come out on Valentine’s Day. If you can’t handle a little tribute to v-day in its favor, well just stop reading now. The romantic sees Valentine’s Day as a day set aside for the people you love by showing appreciation for them (if not with corny gifts and copious amounts of chocolate).
The romantic plans a simple dinner for two with his or her significant other but probably also shoots his or her Mom a happy Valentine’s Day greeting too.
The romantic gives simple, meaningful gifts, and expects the same from his or her other half.
The romantic basically acts out a Kay commercial to his or her hopefully eagerly awaiting partner (see lovestruck girlfriend).
Again this is just my take, and as I’m approaching deadline, I realize I’m rambling a little too much about a stupid holiday, but hey what can I say, I’m the romantic.