Dear ‘Randa,
“Lately my bf and I have been arguing a lot, what can I do to keep our relationship strong?”
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Keeping a relationship strong takes effort. A couple must be willing to be open, honest and have a successful line of communication.
With these qualities, implementing a designated date night will boost the strength of a romantic relationship.
The article, “The Date Night Opportunity,” written by W. Bradford Wilcox and Jeffrey Dew from the University of Virginia states that date nights will help foster stronger relationships in five ways: communication, novelty, eros, commitment and de-stress.
Out of these factors, novelty stands out the most. Wilcox and Dew state novelty is “the initial excitement associated with getting to know a person and growing in intimacy.”
Couples tend to end up in a repetitive, day-to-day routine which diminishes the relationship’s novelty. The title of the article itself suggests that a date night is an opportunity to reintroduce novelty in a relationship.
When planning a date night, don’t just travel to a favorite restaurant or go to the movies every other week. Plan something new in order to bring back that novelty.
There are many options out there. If a couple is not looking to spend too much money, stay in for the night.
Get some board games and have a game night; make each other dinner and try that new recipe from Pinterest. If it’s not in a couple’s means to have a date night every week, make it once every other week. Dedicating that time for each other will boost a relationships strength.
Now if a couple wants to try something a bit more out-of-the-box, take a yoga class on campus together or participate in one of the Weekend Warrior trips offered here on campus.
Upcoming trips include the Drake concert at the Sleep Train Arena on Nov. 18 for $50 as well as the 49ers game against the Redskins on Nov. 25.
One of my favorite date night ideas is to visit Color Me Mine in Modesto on McHenry Avenue.
At Color Me Mine, a couple can pick out their own pottery, whether it’s a cozy coffee mug or a heart-shaped jewelry box, and paint it any way they like.
Forming a work of art together creates a life-long memory and gives each partner a keepsake that will last forever.
If a couple already makes time for a date night, spice it up a bit and try something new. If a date night hasn’t happened in a while, plan one for this weekend or next and try to make it a weekly or bi-weekly occurance.
But if that isn’t feasable, any time frame that works for the individual relationship is what matters. The import thing is to make an effort to spend quality, alone time together.
Date night isn’t the only factor that makes a relationship strong or stops the arguing, but spending a Friday evening enjoying eachothers company is a step in the right direction.
Wishing the best,
‘Randa
A note from Miranda Hamm, staff writer and “Help me ‘Randa” columnist:
Send your email to [email protected] with your relationship question or questions. There is no need to include your name, just your situation, and I will do my best to find the advice you are searching for.
