Ah, crap. . . Is school done already? It seems like it was just yesterday when I was on the phone with my stepmother telling her that school was almost over.
When she told me with a chuckle that it was my first semester as a freshman and that I had plenty of time left, I laughed at her a little. She didn’t see things the way that I saw them. I told her that after the next semester I only had three years left, and after another year, I only had another two years left. This logic went on and on.
She didn’t understand the point I was trying to make. We have so little time to be in college and “figure out” what we want to do and who we are.
I can safely say that I have changed a lot since freshman year. My beliefs have changed, my friends have changed and who I am as a person has changed. The jobs that I work on campus (Production Editor here at The Signal and Station Manager at KCSS radio station) change from one position to another. I feel like I am constantly moving forward and it is just as scary as it is rewarding.
Half of my college experience has been actual classes (which I have grown to crave), and the other half has been work. I don’t know how to just leave it all behind. For the past four years, I have been in this routine that I have grown to love. It has become comfortable, easy and satisfying. I find myself itching and yearning to move forward. I want to plunge into the real word and take a successful path.
Then there are times that I feel like I want to be the reckless kid that I never truly had the chance to be. I want to party and watch the sun come up, I want to skip class and take a random trip to Mexico, I want to be doing something new. Which path will take me where I think I want to go?
As this is my last year, I have reflected on a lot of moments in the past four years, and I have come to the conclusion that I have been doing the right thing all along. I have been constantly trying to find a balance of work and play, and it has been working.
I realize that if I want to be as content as I am despite the cognitive dissonance (shout out to my Communication Studies major for introducing me to that concept), all I need is enough money to not worry about money and me, myself and I.
Everything else will fall into place. College has given me the tools to think, play and work. I couldn’t happier about the unknown road ahead. Maybe we will cross paths, maybe we will carve new ones. Goodbye ’til then.