What is worse than having your parents treat you like a six year old? Responding like a six year old.
This holiday season, try replacing some immature habits with conflict management strategies gleaned straight from COMM 4190. After all, what better way for a college student to show their parents that they are finally an adult?
The best way to maintain your “adult” status is to not fly off the handle when your parents are acting like children. Try to remain calm long enough to find out why they are actually upset. Is your mom critiquing the way you string popcorn? Have you been doing this without problem for darned near 20 years?
Rule #1 of conflicts: The topic of the argument is usually the smallest part of the conflict.
The larger part is generally unspoken, deals with scary feelings and needs to be drawn out carefully before it can be managed.Instead of snapping a reply like a surly 14-year-old, try calmly posing an open-ended question designed to get your mom to talk.
Rule #2 of conflicts: People keep their feelings hidden when the other party seems ready to attack.
Google “supportive communication climate” for more details. Try to remember that most conflicts only appear to be win/lose situation.  Most interpersonal conflicts can be solved simply by hearing and acknowledging feelings and it is not really a good idea to try to enact revenge on somebody that you love. Is your mother still yammering on about popcorn technique? The trigger could very well lead back to her feelings about her own identity, or about relational expectations.
Translation: It could be that your mom is scared that if she cannot still teach you things, that you do not love/need/respect her anymore. Or maybe she is not sure how to define herself without a young child to teach. Or It could be a million other things. If you are still having trouble figuring out what she’s feeling, look in the direction of relationship roles and identity.
Rule #3 of conflicts: Mutual respect makes the world go ‘round.  
Once your mom (or whoever the other party might be) feels heard and acknowledged, try calmly stating your feelings (this is harder than it seems), but remember, its for the good  of the holidays.
Rule #4 of conflicts: You have to own your feelings.
Your feelings are not anyone else’s fault. Try to say how you feel without using words that make others defensive.  Remember “I” statements? Corny as ever, but they really can work.  In the case of the popcorn stringing try, “I feel inadequate when you correct my technique.”
These guidelines will not solve every conflict, but they will make most a touch more palatable. Unlike Aunt Edna’s green Jello salad with the walnuts, nothing is going to make that go down any easier.